We’ve been having some rough days with my supply and your sleep. But today, I put you for a nap and you didn’t sleep long. I laid with your for 30-40 mins and within a few minutes of me getting up, you woke up. You wouldnt go back to sleep after. So i decided to lay you on my chest for a little and you felt asleep on my boob. Its your new favorite pillow. You’ve been fast asleep in a deep cozy sleep for about an hour now and sleep through any noises. Although my first thought is that I’m not able to get things done when you sleep on me. I sit here and think I actually am getting things done. I’m bonding with you and allowing you to get the sound sleep you need to be healthy and grow. I am your comfort. Your safe space. Many of your naps last week were in a car seat away from me, and maybe you just needed more mommy time. More time in your comfort where you could completely relax knowing you are safe in Mommy’s arms. Your anxiety is at ease and you can sleep so hard knowing I am here. I stare are your little face, your lips plump in relaxation. Your little head sweaty on the back of my arm and against my chest. And I sit here present in this moment with you, never knowing when the last time will be for you to fall asleep in my arms. When I remember that this is a privilege that is ultimately numbered, i am reminded not to take moments like this for granted. Even if nothing else gets done today. I am okay with that, knowing that I’ve given you your safe space. Knowing this is the foundation of you trusting that I am here for you and always will be. I am givng you something I haven’t had. I’ve never had a safe space or a mother I could trust. I want to be that for you sweet girl.

March.21.2024